Everyone Knows It's Blowy
Paul did a whiny post the other day about his blogging not being appreciated. At the time I thought he was being his typical bitchy, complaining, 'It's all about me', self. But he has a point. I've just about had it with this job. Even though it isn't. It's a hobby, but maybe you should just shut up for a minute and listen, okay? I work my ass off doing this shit and I've had it with you people. Everyday I think up crap to entertain you. When I'm in the shower, at work, when I'm driving, I'm always thinking of you. How can I make you laugh? How can I make you think? Alright, that's a little far-fetched but work with me here. How can I annoy you?
I post and I post and I link and I post and then I get interviewed by the NEW YORK FRIGGIN' TIMES!!! All for you. I know I said I wouldn't mention that again but I just got off the phone with Jayson Blair and he assured me it would be in tomorrow's paper. He also told me that Jessica Lynch would appear in the January edition of Hustler with Laura Bush and Kobe Bryant. Cool threesome and lesbian action. I'll be in line for that one! But we're getting off topic. Stop trying to distract me.
If I'm going to keep doing this FOR YOU, I want a few things in return. I want more comments. A lot more. I want comments and e-mails. I want some recognition, damnit! I want more links! I want more love and appreciation, more acknowledgement. Did I spell that right? See how hard this is? I have to actually spell things correctly!!! I'm working here, people! See? You spell acknowledgement twice. TWICE!! And if I spelled it wrong, that just proves my point. I think. I haven't thought it through but I'm pretty sure it does. But you're missing my point (unless that was the point, in which case, I apologize but since I'm mad, I take it back). I want some Godamn gratitude. And some love unless I mentioned that already.
In conclusion, I want more comments, e-mails, links, love, appreciation, acknowledgement (that's 3 times) and gratitude.
And a liver. I'm pretty sure mine will go in the future so I'll need one of yours. I'm not picky. As long as it's a pulsing bloody organ that filters vodka, I'll take it. And I don't want a friggin' kidney either! Don't try to pass off a kidney for a liver. I'll show it to a person I know who passed anatomy in High School and they'll know. Plus, my mother has three kidneys, so I can always get one from her, even though she's old and might die during the operation, but she's had a long life. It needs to be a liver.
Concluding further, I need one of you to give me your liver or I'll stop blogging. Please have it in the mail by September of 2014. I'm figuring that's about the time I'll need it. And don't use the US Post Office. You know how careless they are. Overnight it.
I could also use some elbow skin. You have no idea how many times I've accidentally put my elbows through windows trying to open them.